The Under the Library Cast

 

Michael Frank

Michael was chased by a ravenous hoard of angry butterlies as a child in the south. The experience warped his mind and left him unable to pronounce many words like the rest of his friends. He helped create Under the Library by promising these same friends great riches and fame. In reality it’s just an excuse to make Scott moan and Emily scream “not the dog!”. He hopes to one day be able to complete the intro disclaimer in one articulate thought.

“I hate ya’ll… but I love you… I love you ‘cuz I can kill you.”

 

Art Rothfuss

Art is an accountant for a multinational conglomerate, but it’s okay because he’s slowly funneling away profits to build his own space station and broadcast himself as the voice of a new generation. In his down time he’s the technical genius behind Under the Library, which allows him to relentlessly cricket The Keeper. He’s the mad scientist behind Harold, which he uses as a front so he can mumble to himself in the middle of our show.

“Well, if you’re from the future then you should know our names already.” 

 

Emily Mills

Emily was cursed at birth to find this TTRPG group. She now woefully awaits Thursday nights, where, as a special form of karmic punishment, she keeps records for the group. She tries hard to bring kindness and empathy to the game but somehow always finds her hand wrapped around the knife handle in The Keeper’s back. She’s the creator of Florence, but we’re convinced it’s Emily’s way of telling us she has a twin sister. 

“I didn’t say I couldn’t murder you, but I did say I wouldn’t murder you.”

 

Chris Hogan

Chris was an apprentice to an ancient puppeteer who revealed to him the forbidden knowledge of how to instill life into inanimate matter. His mind was shattered by the power, and he spent years institutionalized with intractable psychosis. These days, he entertains at children’s birthday parties, and spends his evenings gibbering and rocking back and forth. Call of Cthulhu is a cathartic pastime for him, but he’s convinced Sandy Petersen is a puppet. 

“I was thinking bondage chains! Nice wholesome bondage chains!”

 

Scott Stamper

Scott found his calling as a carpenter late in life. Called by voices in the night he built up a trove of pine boxes only to realize none of them will fit through the door. He’s now trapped in the basement where his “friends” visit him once a week, via the interwebs, to torture him with visions of his impending meeting with the Great Old Ones. He’s also the wunderkind behind Jaker. Tikka lili le 

“I’m just spit-balling here, blow it up quietly.” 

 

Wayne Holt

Wayne drinks the blood of babies while practicing stripteases to old Zeppelin vinyls. When he’s not playing Call of Cthulhu he masquerades as a totally reasonable citizen you’d trust with your own children. He’s the succubus behind Quentin, which is just a front for him to extol his vast historical knowledge. 

“Look at you, intelligent words shooting out of your mouth every other second. I find you fascinating!”

 

Rick Duthersford

Rick owns a restaurant aptly named “butter Up” where he serves Soylent Green disguised as a toothsome pea protein, iron-rich organic smoothies, and stick to your ribs belly laughs. We hope you never eat there. If you find yourself reading a menu with bad puns about appendages we suggest you run. He’s the tortured mind behind Phillip Donner in the Season One, and possibly a descendant of the real one. 

“We know how to keep our meat clean, I mean our patients clean.”

The Under the Library Cast

 

Michael Frank

Michael was chased by a ravenous hoard of angry butterlies as a child in the south. The experience warped his mind and left him unable to pronounce many words like the rest of his friends. He helped create Under the Library by promising these same friends great riches and fame. In reality it’s just an excuse to make Scott moan and Emily scream “not the dog!”. He hopes to one day be able to complete the intro disclaimer in one articulate thought.

“I hate ya’ll… but I love you… I love you ‘cuz I can kill you.”

 

Art Rothfuss

Art is an accountant for a multinational conglomerate, but it’s okay because he’s slowly funneling away profits to build his own space station and broadcast himself as the voice of a new generation. In his down time he’s the technical genius behind Under the Library, which allows him to relentlessly cricket The Keeper. He’s the mad scientist behind Harold, which he uses as a front so he can mumble to himself in the middle of our show.

“Well, if you’re from the future then you should know our names already.” 

 

Emily Mills

Emily was cursed at birth to find this TTRPG group. She now woefully awaits Thursday nights, where, as a special form of karmic punishment, she keeps records for the group. She tries hard to bring kindness and empathy to the game but somehow always finds her hand wrapped around the knife handle in The Keeper’s back. She’s the creator of Florence, but we’re convinced it’s Emily’s way of telling us she has a twin sister. 

“I didn’t say I couldn’t murder you, but I did say I wouldn’t murder you.”

 

Scott Stamper

Scott found his calling as a carpenter late in life. Called by voices in the night he built up a trove of pine boxes only to realize none of them will fit through the door. He’s now trapped in the basement where his “friends” visit him once a week, via the interwebs, to torture him with visions of his impending meeting with the Great Old Ones. He’s also the wunderkind behind Jaker. Tikka lili le 

“I’m just spit-balling here, blow it up quietly.” 

 

Rick Duthersford

Rick owns a restaurant aptly named “butter Up” where he serves Soylent Green disguised as a toothsome pea protein, iron-rich organic smoothies, and stick to your ribs belly laughs. We hope you never eat there. If you find yourself reading a menu with bad puns about appendages we suggest you run. He’s the tortured mind behind Phillip Donner in the Season One, and possibly a descendant of the real one. 

“We know how to keep out meat clean, I mean our patients clean.”

 

Chris Hogan

Chris was an apprentice to an ancient puppeteer who revealed to him the forbidden knowledge of how to instill life into inanimate matter. His mind was shattered by the power, and he spent years institutionalized with intractable psychosis. These days, he entertains at children’s birthday parties, and spends his evenings gibbering and rocking back and forth. Call of Cthulhu is a cathartic pastime for him, but he’s convinced Sandy Petersen is a puppet. 

“I was thinking bondage chains! Nice wholesome bondage chains!”

 

Wayne Holt

Wayne drinks the blood of babies while practicing stripteases to old Zeppelin vinyls. When he’s not playing Call of Cthulhu he masquerades as a totally reasonable citizen you’d trust with your own children. He’s the succubus behind Quentin, which is just a front for him to extol his vast historical knowledge. 

“Look at you, intelligent words shooting out of your mouth every other second. I find you fascinating!”

The Under the Library Cast

 

Michael Frank

Michael was chased by a ravenous hoard of angry butterlies as a child in the south. The experience warped his mind and left him unable to pronounce many words like the rest of his friends. He helped create Under the Library by promising these same friends great riches and fame. In reality it’s just an excuse to make Scott moan and Emily scream “not the dog!”. He hopes to one day be able to complete the intro disclaimer in one articulate thought.

“I hate ya’ll… but I love you… I love you ‘cuz I can kill you.”

 

Art Rothfuss

Art is an accountant for a multinational conglomerate, but it’s okay because he’s slowly funneling away profits to build his own space station and broadcast himself as the voice of a new generation. In his down time he’s the technical genius behind Under the Library, which allows him to relentlessly cricket The Keeper. He’s the mad scientist behind Harold, which he uses as a front so he can mumble to himself in the middle of our show.

“Well, if you’re from the future then you should know our names already.” 

 

Emily Mills

Emily was cursed at birth to find this TTRPG group. She now woefully awaits Thursday nights, where, as a special form of karmic punishment, she keeps records for the group. She tries hard to bring kindness and empathy to the game but somehow always finds her hand wrapped around the knife handle in The Keeper’s back. She’s the creator of Florence, but we’re convinced it’s Emily’s way of telling us she has a twin sister. 

“I didn’t say I couldn’t murder you, but I did say I wouldn’t murder you.”

 

Chris Hogan

Chris was an apprentice to an ancient puppeteer who revealed to him the forbidden knowledge of how to instill life into inanimate matter. His mind was shattered by the power, and he spent years institutionalized with intractable psychosis. These days, he entertains at children’s birthday parties, and spends his evenings gibbering and rocking back and forth. Call of Cthulhu is a cathartic pastime for him, but he’s convinced Sandy Petersen is a puppet. 

“I was thinking bondage chains! Nice wholesome bondage chains!”

 

Scott Stamper

Scott found his calling as a carpenter late in life. Called by voices in the night he built up a trove of pine boxes only to realize none of them will fit through the door. He’s now trapped in the basement where his “friends” visit him once a week, via the interwebs, to torture him with visions of his impending meeting with the Great Old Ones. He’s also the wunderkind behind Jaker. Tikka lili le 

“I’m just spit-balling here, blow it up quietly.” 

 

Wayne Holt

Wayne drinks the blood of babies while practicing stripteases to old Zeppelin vinyls. When he’s not playing Call of Cthulhu he masquerades as a totally reasonable citizen you’d trust with your own children. He’s the succubus behind Quentin, which is just a front for him to extol his vast historical knowledge. 

“Look at you, intelligent words shooting out of your mouth every other second. I find you fascinating!”

 

Rick Duthersford

Rick owns a restaurant aptly named “butter Up” where he serves Soylent Green disguised as a toothsome pea protein, iron-rich organic smoothies, and stick to your ribs belly laughs. We hope you never eat there. If you find yourself reading a menu with bad puns about appendages we suggest you run. He’s the tortured mind behind Phillip Donner in the Season One, and possibly a descendant of the real one. 

“We know how to keep out meat clean, I mean our patients clean.”